Forgiveness
As I walked from the other room to the living room with a hammer in my hand to hang a picture on the wall, my macaw ran from me as fast as his little legs would carry him. I paid no attention to him as he was always wandering about. As I turned the corner, I saw that he tripped and fell over so I reached down with my free hand to pick him up. He let out a pathetic scream, a scream that was obviously one of extreme fright. I then realized that he thought I was going to hit him with the hammer. I was his last home but he had not been with me for long and was developing a trust towards me. One of his previous homes he had the sad and unfortunate experience of having been struck with sticks when he misbehaved. Seeing me with the hammer brought up memories and he thought he was about to re-experience this terrible and familiar event. I tossed the hammer and picked him up and reassured him.
What does this have to do with Christianity?
Since that incident where I witnessed that awful and pitiful scream of terror coming from this little creature, I have worked to gain his trust. My parrot has now given me his full trust and treats me as if I could cause him no harm. He follows me even if I have a ‘stick’ in my hand. In a sense, he has forgiven humans for in his little mind, humans were the ones that caused him pain and as a human, when he saw me with a stick, he felt the terror of expecting me to strike to his little body even though he never experienced that from me. This little creature is no longer frightened of either me or other humans.
What is forgiveness?
Strong’s’ defines forgiveness as “forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit, suffer, yield up.”
Webster’s 1828 Bible Dictionary defines it as follows: “To pardon; to remit, as an offense or debt; to overlook an offense, and treat the offender as not guilty. The original and proper phrase is to forgive the offense, to send it away, to reject it, that is, not to impute it, [put it to] the offender. But by an easy transition, we also use the phrase, to forgive the person offending.”
While I do not believe that animals have the capacity to forgive, they behave like they do. While my macaw has every right to be frightened of humans based on his past experience at the hands of humans, in his little birdy nature, he treats me as if he never experienced harm from the hands of the species that caused him so much terror. Birds, by their very nature, are a fearful species. He startles easily but when he realizes what startled him is simply me, he returns to what he was doing paying me no attention. He treats me as if the offense against him never took place in his life. I know that he has not forgotten for if I attempt to place him on a new perch that he is unfamiliar with, he becomes very frightened. Birds are not terrorized by new perches, my macaw is. The terror he experienced remains in his memory bank but he treats me as if it did not happen.
Yet, when we say we forgive someone, do we really? Someone asks for our forgiveness and as Christians, we grant them the request. Yet, do we really? Are we able to set aside what they did to us and treat them as if they never did the act that required our forgiveness? And how often?
- Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Mat 18:21-22 ESV)
Forgiveness does not mean that we forget the act against us. It means that we treat the person as if they never committed the act. When someone sins against us, we have the right to hold them accountable for their actions. To forgive is to lay aside that right to hold them accountable for their sin against us. The slate is wiped clean. God has every right to send every single sinner to eternal damnation for our sin against Him makes us deserving of nothing less than damnation. Yet, for those that are called His children, He has chosen to treat us as if we never sinned. Because of that, those that are His children will spend eternity in His presence. His children will receive what they don’t deserve, eternal life.
My frightened macaw has somehow, in is little birdy way, given up his fright and terror. Because he has done that, I have benefitted immensely and so has he. When we can really give up our right to hold the person who transgressed against us accountable, it’s also a win-win situation for both parties. The relationship has a fresh start and we are obedient to scripture. We are not to conceal in our hearts malice, we treat the person kindly and not speak poorly of him.
- but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Mat 6:15 ESV)
Matthew 6:15 does not mean the justification that God granted to the Christian is removed. The justification that a sinner receives upon receiving Christ is a complete acquittal of all offenses against God. God will chasten His children.
- And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? (Heb 12:5-7 ESV)
In other words, if we do not forgive another, God does not take His pardon or salvation away from His child much like a parent does not toss an errant child on the streets. God will chasten as a parent disciplines their child. God does not discipline the non Christian for they will experience His wrath.
Oh were we to forgive as it appears that my macaw has done. He treats me as if he never experienced terror from the human species yet the memory of it remains in his memory bank. God treats His children as if we have not sinned and has granted us eternal life. Forgiveness is the restoration of a relationship back to where it began before the transgression. That is exactly what God has done with Christians. He has forgiven us and has restored us back to Him as it were before the fall. When we truly forgive someone, the relationship is restored back to where it was before the transgression against us.
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Tishrei,
Great post and good use of analogy with your bird. I think you can actually forgive someone, even if they haven’t asked for it, but keep yourself from being hurt by that person again by not forgetting. This is especially true in abuse situations.
And the asking: I’ve often seen people put forth the idea that forgiveness is contingent on someone asking you for it. This is a rather attractive view in that it certainly let’s one off the hook allows one a guilt free grudge
I just don’t know whether it’s biblical.
I will admit it can be disappointing when the person doesn’t actually tell you they’re sorry, but then again you never know what they’re thinking.
Just some random thoughts.
In Christ,
Kent
I’ve heard the same as you — that forgiveness is contingent on the person asking for forgiveness. I just don’t see that in scripture. That’s saying that we can hold bitterness and a grudge in our hearts towards a person until they ask us to forgive.
And yeah, it’s really a hard pill to swallow that the person does not ask for forgiveness. I’ve learned that we are responsible for ourselves. They will have to answer to God why they did not seek forgiveness from the one they wronged.
BLT
Is forgiveness possible?
With the almost limitless mutations of life forms, the evolutionary process can be expected to produce individuals with characteristics of an exceedingly complex gradation, in a myriad of aspects – eg
Brilliant to Thick / Jovial to Morose / Benign to Sadistic / Hetero to Homo / ad inf.
Religions provide a very accessible dump for the perceived guilt generated by the various indiscretions to which all humans must, in some respect, be victim. The evolution of Life cannot be fault-free. We all learn as we live. Forgiveness from on high is a concept that is plainly ludicrous in the extreme!
& how can a wronged person ever truly & absolutely, ‘forgive’ the ‘wronger’. Depending on the seriousness of the sin, he merely goes along with the thought, hoping the wrong does not happen again.
Absolute forgiveness is impossible. Doubts must remain. These inevitable happenings are just the naturalness of life we all have to cope with.
Do not kid thyself – No one is or ever will be, immaculate!
Those gifted with conscience & a degree of ‘normalcy’ just have to bear with the ill-starred & scallywags that abound; amongst the latter, religious ‘Con Men’, enjoying a very comfortable living with their pretentious & ‘Divine’ prognostications!