Being Right At All Costs – Is It Worth It?
I have had the unfortunate experience to be the recipient as well as watching Christians make their arguments in such a way that one would wonder if they are really trying to convince someone versus being right.
Recently, I have been reading a Christian internet discussion group. The attacks against Catholicism (and some other beliefs) have been shocking and nasty in nature. To be clear, I strongly disagree with Roman Catholic theology. Yet, the methodology taken towards those that are members who are Catholic and their beliefs is not a method that would encourage a Catholic to discuss or reflect on the teachings that come from their church.
To be sure, I agree with the teachings these Christians are putting forth with respect to Roman Catholicism. To read the ‘discussions’ is disturbing. It’s disturbing not because of the content of the message of which I agree, it’s the manner in which the message is delivered. I am left wondering what is the purpose of the message. If the purpose is to convince the Catholics that their reading and understanding of the scripture is incorrect, attacking is not the methodology that is likely to convince or engage someone in a discussion. When one is attacked, we will simply defend ourselves.
Do we want to be right? Of course we do! I know I want to be right. Do I believe I am right in my theological views? Of course I do otherwise it would be insane to hold to that particular view. Have I ever changed my mind? I can answer that with a resounding YES! And I can unequivocally state that when I have changed my mind through the teachings of someone else, it has been via a discussion or instruction, not attacking what I believe. When I am attacked, my first reaction is to defend my beliefs for I am like any other human being, I am not alone.
The group I have in mind is not an anomaly; they are simply a group of Christians that are representative of a lot us Christians. I know I have been guilty of this tactic but I must ask myself “what is the purpose of my discussion or debate?” Is it to win or is it to help another see a viewpoint that I am convinced is the correct theological point of view?
One thing I have learned from the internet is that members on discussion groups sit behind their keyboard without having to look at the person they are debating. I know that most people would not talk to someone the way they do if that person were in front of them where they could see the hurt or anger they generated by their words. We take a different approach when we are behind the safety and anonymity of our keyboards versus having to face a real live human being like ourselves with feelings. I HATE to hurt people’s feelings but behind the keyboard, I do not have to witness the damage my words may have on them.
Do I want to win? Not really for I gain nothing from winning a debate at the expense of another except, perhaps, an ego boost. I have been productively challenged in the past and have changed my viewpoint. It was instructive and I am glad I have been able to learn from those folks.
As Christians, we are commanded to show the fruit of the spirit which is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Gal 5:22-23 ESV)
If our purpose is to win or the ultimate goal is to be right, then we have failed in our Christian duty. If we our purpose is to prove another wrong, we have failed in our Christian duty. If our purpose is to instruct because we believe we are right (and we do if we hold to a particular position), then we will display the fruit of the spirit. If we can walk away, patting ourselves on the back because we backed someone into the corner, we have failed. We failed because all that came out of the encounter is a boosted ego.
While I agree with that group of Christians on the discussion board as to their views of Catholicism (of which I am not a member of that group nor do I wish to be), they have failed for while they do not attack a person, the manner in which they attack a belief system simply is rabid. Who can hear a point of view under such a militant attack? No one can for those whose beliefs are under attack are too busy defending themselves or their beliefs. Telling someone that their beliefs are a “lie from the pit of hell” is nothing short of extreme, unkind and callous and certainly does not display the fruit of the spirit. I would not dream using those words on someone face to face and not because I would be frightened, but because it’s mean and rude and I do not wish to see the hurt in a person’s eyes were I to utter such a callous remark. If I won’t do it in person, then it should not be uttered behind a keyboard either for the person on other side of the keyboard reading my words is a human being just like me.
I guess we have to figure out what we are trying to accomplish.
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